CNN: Can focusing more on happiness make you a better parent?
Fraga (psychologist and parenting educator): Absolutely. If we can’t feel happiness ourselves, it’s hard to experience our children’s happiness. Sometimes, this core emotion is blocked because parents’ happiness was blocked during their own childhood. I see many mothers who feel a stigma about happiness—they feel it’s wrong to celebrate their children’s successes. These mothers don’t want to appear superior to others.
In a chaotic world, our brains are also searching for ways to defend against danger, especially when it comes to keeping our children safe. Therefore, the time we spend experiencing our own happiness or our children’s happiness may be fleeting compared to the time we spend managing anxiety. Simple practices like “finding happiness”—for example, practicing gratitude or noticing how our bodies feel when our children share good news—can help us better experience this feeling. Happiness makes us feel enlightened, a beautiful feeling worth savoring. Research shows that savoring meaningful and joyful parent-child interactions can help us relieve stress.
This article is excerpted from CNN.
